Dumb reasons for “WHY BATMAN ISN’T IN CIVIL WAR”

We have waited for the brand new Captain America Civil War trailer, and even though every time someone new pops up, there’s always one thing that bothers everyone. Why Batman isn’t in the Civil War? Poor Captain America..


Well since we are die-hard fans of comics, and since I’m jobless, I’ve researched and put up a set of reasons as to why we Batman couldn’t make it to the epic battle between the Iron Man and Captain America.

1. Well, Falcon actually flies…


Can’t blame the guy for having even the teeniest bit of an inferiority complex for that. Coz u know, gliding and flying are two completely different things. Jetpack with wings, and a black cape. You know how that goes.

2. Way too much black


Black Panther, Black Widow, almost black and grey WarMachine, Bucky in black dress, Crossbones… Too much black for the eyes. I mean, people he lost his uniqueness goddamit! How can you do this to him? No wonder he’s upset and didn’t come over to help you’ll.

3. Joker broke free. Again.


That security guard at Arkham had literally one job to do! Like seriously, who would Batman prefer? Two warring teams fighting in a deserted parking lot? Or Joker in a pink Lamborghini on the streets?? Obviously the Lambo. He already lost one to Anne Hathaway aka Catwoman!

4. Was busy making suits.


Like seriously, he made one. Iron Man made many, destroyed them, made many again, Hulkbuster, iron hand, retracting helmet, blah blah blah. And if that wasn’t enough, even Rhodey has a WarMachine suit. He gotta stay in competition..

5. Well that’s below my standards!


I’m fighting a supreme alien from a whole different planet, who’s basking in my sun during the day and fighting me at night, and whose body destroyed my beloved Batmobile.. And you can’t go against an experimented soldier from the 1940s with a frisbeee?? Shame on you.

6. Alfred messed up.


God, that butler must be getting really old. He may surely misguided Bruce, oh damn sorry Batman. He may have misguided Batman to Metropolis instead of New York and just because of that, poor chap had to deal with the Kryptonian.

7. Robin


That hurts.. Seeing Robin roaming around with Stark, Captain and all. It hurts. He couldn’t possible stand the sight of losing Robin to them. I feel you bro. There There.

8. Or highly probable one, New York had a lot of light.


Well he works in the dark. If you expect that guy to show up in midnoon when these chaps wanna face off in a parking lot, that’s so uncool! Respect him people. He’s called the Batman for a reason.

And you thought he isn’t in the Civil War because Batman is from DC Comics and others from Marvel?! Pfftt… So dumb.